What You Thought You Need

I usually get inspired by the songs I've listened to. This time, I'll quote Jack Johnson's "What You Thought You Need." "Getting lost is not a waste of time", he said. And yes, I'm definitely agreed with what he said. 

I realized that it has been almost four months since I had my mini-thesis defend, and two months since I graduated. I was happy, yet somehow I felt lost. I do not know where I am heading to. Should I continue to pursue higher education, should I look for a job (although I know it is hard to look for a real IR job), or just be it. 

I realized also that I had way less expectations while doing my mini-thesis; I was so ready to accept any results; good or bad. But, this time's different. I put myself so hard to convince that I should do this and that, to be like her or him. Yet, it is true that expectations kill. I'm lost, I have no idea what I am going to do or where I should go or move to. 

I realized again that I'm always too busy to look up people around me. I'm trapped in what such people define about what success is; high income, prestigious company, getting job offer right after graduated. Yet, I know each person has their own path in life. 

And I just realized that those things might not be something that I need, they're just things I want, or I look up to. Maybe what I really need now is time. Time to figure out what my dreams are, what my goals in life are, where I want to be. And I’m lucky enough to have parents who are very supportive and never demand or push me to do something they want. I'm lucky as well to have friends and activities which keep me busy. 

What I really need now is maybe time, thing that I might lose a little bit in college. Time, is what I need now to figure out what I want in life. And as Sarah Jessica Parker in Glee said, "Figuring out your dreams takes time. And...baby steps are okay."

So, I hope in these tiny (maybe long) steps I'm now, I'm heading to something....which I believe will be something good, sooner or later.