A Solitude Treatment: Happiness is Real when Shared?

Image source: hastac.org

I was a keen social media user. Friendster was my first social media and I decided to join the hip. The it was followed by Facebook, Instagram and Path. Facebook used to be fun with the application to grow plants and our own pets. While I joined Instagram because I saw an great account from a friend of mine (great photos with vintage filter). And with Path, I simply signed up just to be able to update my playlist :P

Social media is an open world. You can easily look at other's activities; what they had for breakfast, what kind of sport they do, or are they single or not? Open world also means that you can easily share your opinion about everything. With this high tension of Local Election, Facebook became the most crowded social media (at least in my opinion). Anyone became "new political observer". Some say that it is part of democracy and I have to agree with that. But in media, we know that "bad news is good news". Hoax was everywhere.

Instagram is quite less-political. You can see people update their daily picture; traveling, works, marriage, babies and so on. It's quite the same with Path, with the latter is more "day to day" social media.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I remember that the time after I finished my undergraduate study was quite a confusing phase for me. I don't know what to do and it feels that I don't fit anywhere. When I decided to continue pursuing my study in Jakarta, I kinda regretted it in the beginning. When I saw social media, I saw my friends updating their pictures and current place. Most of them worked and earned money already. While the others were accepted in university abroad (I failed my scholarship abroad). I decided to log out from Path at that time. But then I came back.

It took quite some time for me to accept the fact that I took different path from my friends in social media. But then, it slowly got better and better. I was grateful with my current work which gave me opportunities to travel. But then, life is indeed a crisis never ends. The "social media crisis" came again. Not with work, not with study abroad (I made peace with that already). But with life in general. Well, maybe this is what they call "quarter life crisis"?

I saw most of my friends have their new family. Some even had babies already. The comparison changes from "job title" to "status". It is indeed true that we are all born alone, thus why can't we be happy alone? But seeing them paving new life together touches me somehow. Seeing also my friends giving birth to a brand new human being also touches the butterflies in my stomach. I'm not in their phase right now and it worries me that maybe I will never be.

"Escape" from the Reality and Try to Make Peace

So I decided to log off from social media for a while. It was started by Path. It was okay but I sometimes miss the time when I can update my "listening to...". And then I started to uninstall my Instagram, and followed by Facebook a month ago. Both high tension on politics and also my current crisis on "status" were the main grounds.

I think that by logging out from social media will give me more time to spend "real time" with "real people". I was quite not "up to date" anymore. But then, it is okay. I don't have to be the first to know everything. In fact, it is kinda fun to hear my friends share the newest update in social media. "Have you seen this video?", "Do you know that x is already broken up with y?" or simply "Have you seen the news in Lambe Turah?" Oh no dear, I haven't :P

But somehow, I kinda miss the time when I was able to share my experience or inspiration rightaway with just a few clicks. When I heard my favorite song on the radio, when I capture beautiful view outside or when I sat just in front of an Indonesian covergirl (just like now). I kinda miss to share my fun and witty moments with others.

I took me some time again to come with temporary conclusion. We can't always escape from the reality. As I said before, life is indeed a crisis which never ends. It was a crisis between work and study before. For now, the crisis is about "status". What will be the crisis in another 5 years?

Rather to escape from reality, maybe I should just express it. Maybe I should pursue my passion now. Anything that brings happiness and also useful for others. I'm trying to accept the fact that I'm on my own right now, and I should be extremely grateful to have my parents and friends already. Some times we have to ignore what people say. We know what's the best for us. Solitude treatment from social media is indeed a self reflective time for me. But Christopher McCandless (Into the Wild) was right: Happiness is only real when shared. And it even will multiply in many other ways.

Jakarta, April 14th 2017.