Losing

In these last two months I felt and I saw so many people; friends or family; losing their beloved ones. It scared me, I'm not ready enough to lose mine. Yet it reminds me that I can take what God gave to me for good. There's always losing and gaining. I saw most of my friends handled their losing so well that I couldn't imagine if I were in their position. And it reminds me also that I'm still grown as a adult; learning to be more mature. The scare of losing my precious ones kinda makes me more sensitive, and more ambitious to get what I want to make them proud. Yet, it kills me that the ambition kinda separates me with some close friends. It's not supposed to be, yet I realized that I made distance to them. In these several months, I felt like I live in my own world...Even I made distance with my very best friend. I felt like everyone have their own world now, which is excluding me.

But, seeing so many people struggling with their losing, it embarrassed my whining. I wish I could be that tough, because now I'm struggling with losing as well; I'm losing the old Sinta...